As you select the tools of your child’s developmental work, here are some helpful questions to keep in mind:

• Will this toy sustain interest over time? If a toy has multiple uses and encourages creativity or dramatic play, the chances are better that your child will enjoy it for an extensive period.

• Does it present an appropriate level of challenge? If it’s too hard to be successful playing with a toy, your child will want to give up. If it’s too easy, your child will lose interest. Look for toys that target skills just beyond what your child has already mastered.

• Will the toy foster emotional, intellectual, physical or social development? Many toys that are naturally inviting to children help them grow in one or more of these areas and provide important opportunities for learning as well as excitement.

• Can your child play with this toy alone and with others? If both you and your child find the toy appealing, you can enjoy a special activity together or have needed alone time.

• Does the toy build an important ability while remaining fun and engaging? Maybe your child has poor fine motor skills but loves construction toys. Sometimes a toy can help your child increase essential skills without seeming like work at all!

• Will this toy appeal to your child’s specific interests, personality and learning style? If your daughter is a tomboy, resist the urge to buy her the pink dollhouse you loved as a child and choose something that will engage her own particular sense of adventure.

• Is it practical and safe? An appropriate toy should fit your budget and living space as well as ensuring safe, rewarding play opportunities for your child.

Many common behavioral problems can be improved or eliminated by following a few simple principles. In the words of child psychologist Ross Greene, “children do well if they can.” If you can identify which factors stand in the way of your child’s optimal behavior, you are more than halfway down the road to solutions.

What is the real problem? When facing a behavioral problem, consider this question: Is there a deficit of motivation or a deficit of skill? If your child lacks motivation, rewards or consequences are appropriate. If your child is motivated, but lacks the ability to follow through with an expectation, reward/punishment approaches will be useless.

There are many kinds of skill. Many times, children are motivated to please adults but lack the skills to do so. This is easy to recognize if the skill is academic or physical. But remember that flexibility, self-discipline, consistency, and emotional regulation are all skills that need to be learned and practiced, just like math and jump rope.

Make goals specific, concrete and, if possible, visual. Telling a child, “be nice to your sister” is not nearly as effective as breaking down the components and drawing a simple picture for each. For example, being nice to your sister means: gentle hands and feet, sharing toys, helpful words instead of hurtful words.

Check it off. Similarly, visual schedules or checklists can greatly enhance independent performance of self-care tasks. Break down an activity such as “getting ready for school.” Draw a picture, or better yet have your child draw a picture, for each task and have her place a check next to each completed activity. This will enhance your child’s self-esteem and sense of accomplishment as well as making your household run more smoothly!

Become an emotional role model for your child. Children, with and without special needs, need help learning to identify and manage feelings. Whenever possible and appropriate, you can verbalize your own emotional management process for your child’s benefit. For example, “I’m feeling really frustrated that we’ve been stuck in traffic for so long. I’m going to turn on some music to help myself stay calm.”

Translate difficult behaviors into their emotional causes. If a lack of emotional regulation is getting in the way of your child’s performance, put the feelings you see into words. For instance, if your child is having difficulty with a transition, you could say, “It’s really hard to stop doing something when you’re having fun. You feel upset.” Even if you don’t see an immediate response, repeated use of feeling words will eventually become internalized and your child will learn to express himself effectively.”

Warm up. Squeeze the Play-Doh in each hand.

Roll, Roll, Roll A Ball. With the child’s “three friends”– the thumb, index and middle fingers – she or he rolls out small balls of clay. The child can use the balls to create art; bird’s nests, clusters of grapes and snowmen are classics. Or she may line up the balls to form letters and numbers. When creating the balls, make sure the child’s last two fingers are curled into his or her palm. If not, have the child hold a cotton ball or sponge (cut the size of a sugar cube) down with the ring and pinky fingers.

Stack ‘em Up. Ask the child to pinch the balls made above into disks using his or her thumb, index and middle fingers.

Topsy-Turvy. Again using the child’s “three friends,” instruct him or her to push a penny or Lite Brite peg into each of the small balls.

Play Hide and Seek. Both you and your partner make large balls of putty by rolling it between two hands. Then push 5 pennies into the clay—hiding each of them well. Reshape the clay back into a ball. Trade with your partner and dig out the pennies. Be sure that you and your partner use your fingers rather than flattening the ball with your whole hand.

Artist at Work. Roll out clay and use cookie cutters to make shapes. Play-Doh squeezed through a hand held spaghetti press might be used to create decorations and STRENGTHEN hands! OR flatten the clay into a pancake using your fingers. Cut it into shapes with scissors or a plastic knife. Draw details on the clay using a chopstick.

Roll with Imaginative Play. Roll the clay into two long snakes or coils using the palms and fingers of both hands. Form the Play-Doh coils into a pot or a cinnamon bun. When a child picks up a ball of Play-Doh, he or she is accepting an invitation to explore all kinds of possibilities.